“Fifteen
hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five
hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know
tomorrow.” – Tommy Lee Jones, as “K”, in Men
in Black
Math
is the subject American kids express the least confidence with. But it doesn’t
have to be that way.
Who you believe you are determines what
you work at
Everything
we do springs from our identity, from our belief in what our potential is. We generally have more than one identity. For example, we may think of ourselves as
athletic, honest, artistic, or hardworking; typically a combination of several
of identities like these at the same time.
Have you ever witnessed someone else behaving as if they couldn’t do
something they were obviously perfectly capable of? They were 100% sure and yet you knew they
were 100% wrong. For example, many
people say they can’t speak in public – yet they manage to (1) stand up and (2)
speak -with no problem every day! Some
have a phobia, like flying, in which they feel they can’t simply get in a plane
and sit quietly, but ultimately they can do it (without drugs).
“What
we see depends mainly on what we look for”.
– John Lubbock
Where your identity comes from
In
many ways our identity is shaped by the people who raise us. If our parents praised our intelligence, we
believe we are intelligent. If they
praise our talents in a particular area, like art, we tend to see ourselves artistically
talented. Many well-meaning parents will
even label one of their children “the smart one” or another as “the athlete in
the family”, and these identities can become part of a person’s self-image
throughout life. Even when not stated
directly, our parents can have unconscious beliefs about us. These beliefs can profoundly influence the
conclusions we come to assume about our own potential.
“Every
time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a
message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a
ceiling on yourself” – Oprah Winfrey
How parents influence their child’s
identity
A
fixed mindset is the view that abilities and intelligence are set at birth and
can’t be changed. People who have a
fixed mindset tend to assign inborn talent as the reason for an individual’s
success, rather than hard work. The
opposite of this is a growth mindset, which acknowledges that the mind is
plastic, that is, constantly growing and responding to how we use it. People who have a growth mindset believe persistence
and effort are far more important to achievement than genetics.
In
America, we have a fixed mindset about math ability. We call anyone who appears to understand math
easily a “math person”. We think anyone
who struggles even briefly is “not a math person”. But math is supposed to be learned through
practice, repeated attempts, and trial and error. Frustration is par for the course. In fact, it has been demonstrated with brain
scans that making a mistake in math actually grows your brain! In
spite of this, when a student finds math a challenge they are sometimes labeled
as “not a math person” and led to believe they don’t have what it takes to
succeed at higher levels. They are often
deliberately steered away from classes and careers with high level math
requirements. They can be discouraged
from even trying!
Most
American adults have been shaped by these attitudes while growing up. Not surprisingly, a majority of American
adults describe themselves as being either not a “math person” or outright math
phobic. (It is interesting that there
can actually be a fear of math. A fear of death, snakes, heights, or spiders
is easy to understand but what exactly could happen from getting a school math
problem wrong?!) These beliefs can
influence the way people react when their kids are feeling frustrated with
their math homework. American children often
hear these kinds of things from their parents:
“Don’t
worry, you are good at other subjects.”
“I
wasn’t a math person either.”
“Just
memorize what you need to know to pass the test and get through your
requirements. You aren’t going to use it
anyway.”
“I've
failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” –
Michael Jordan
In Other Countries it’s Different
This
is a far cry from the mentality seen in many Asian countries. Math is seen as a learned skill, to be
practiced and worked on continuously until it’s mastered. Mistakes are just part of the learning
process – not proof of low intelligence.
Math is something anyone can do if they apply themselves enough. It doesn’t require a special genetic trait
enjoyed only by a fortunate minority. It
is self-evident that success in math is the same as success in general – the
result of persistence and hard work, not merely being lucky.
“Nothing
can stop the person with the right mental attitude from achieving the goal and
nothing on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
Your attitudes influence your choices, and
your choices determine your results
A
person won’t persist for very long without having faith in their ability to be
successful. When we believe our hard
work will pay off we are more likely to keep going. When we don’t, we tend to get discouraged and
quit. Once we decide we are not a “math
person”, we tend to operate through that filter. Overwhelming insecurity about our math
ability weighs against the persistence needed to succeed.
“If
you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative
thought”. – Peace Pilgrim
Math is a lot like reading
When a
child has difficulty in math, American parents tend to accept it, thinking it’s
just not their area. But when their
child has trouble reading, they don’t conclude that they are “just not a
reading person”! They commit to helping
them by providing plenty of interesting books, having them read every day consistently,
and practicing their writing. American
parents carry the attitude that all children (barring certain special needs)
are able to read well and it is just a matter of time and effort until they
do. Math is no different. If we understand that our children are capable
and help them persist until they
succeed, we will see what they really can do.
“When
everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off
against the wind, not with it”. - Henry Ford
How to promote a positive math identity in
your child
American
adults were brought up with certain attitudes about math that may have
influenced part of their own identity.
But we don’t have to blindly accept any identity given to us. We can decide
to be a person who keeps working through frustration in an area outside of our
comfort zone. We can consider the
possibility that we may have been unconsciously underestimating ourselves in a
lot of ways.
So the
obvious question that follows is, how do we get our children feeling empowered
to confidently persevere with math challenges?
Here
are a few easy suggestions:
Don’t
verbalize your negative thoughts about math or your negative experiences with
it. Think of positive things to say about
math challenges when you can.
Praise
their hard work and persistence rather than their intelligence.
Never
tell a child (or even imply) that they are not a “math person”. There’s no such thing.
Encourage
them to take risks and try new math challenges.
Let
them know they can succeed if they work hard enough.
“Nothing
in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with
talent. Genius will not; unrewarded
genius is almost a proverb. Education
will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are
omnipotent.”
-
Calvin Coolidge
